She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
