So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize