Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
