bring money and cleavage
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
