so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
