I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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