Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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