Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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