You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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