once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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