Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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