I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize