wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
sex in a hospital.. check
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
