$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
