oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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