I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
