There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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