I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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