He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
