btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
