Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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