I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize