How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
