you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
