I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
