we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
