okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
