i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
