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we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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