1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
