Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Randomize
