party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
