These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
