At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
