Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
