FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
