i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize