No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
