Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
