You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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