getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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