'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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