I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
