I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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