Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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