Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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