About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
