You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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