Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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