I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
