i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
third nipple confirmed
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
how drunk are you?
Several
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
