I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
