Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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