at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
