Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
operation harelip BJ is a go
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
