You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
