My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
