Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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