the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no, he came in my armpit
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
