Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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