just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
