If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
