you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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