I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
