Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
